Couples, Relationship and Psychosexual Therapy in London
Relationships can be a source of love, security and belonging, but they can also become places of conflict, distance and uncertainty. Couples often come to therapy when they feel stuck in patterns, they have been unable to change on their own.
I work with couples who want to understand what is happening between them, communicate more openly and consider what their relationship needs. This may involve repairing a relationship following a rupture, addressing sexual or emotional difficulties, or deciding thoughtfully whether and how the relationship can continue.
Couples therapy is not based on assigning blame or deciding who is right. It offers a space in which both partners can speak, listen and begin to understand the pattern they may have become caught within.
Reasons Couples Seek Therapy
Couples may come to therapy because of:
- Difficulties communicating or feeling understood
- Repeated arguments and unresolved conflict
- Emotional distance or loneliness within the relationship
- Loss of trust
- Affairs, infidelity or other relationship ruptures
- Differences in sexual desire
- Loss of sexual or physical intimacy
- Sexual difficulties affecting one or both partners
- The impact of trauma, illness, parenting or other life changes
- Questions about commitment, separation or the future of the relationship
- Compulsive sexual behaviour, pornography use or sexual betrayal
Not every couple enters therapy knowing whether they want to remain together. Therapy can also provide a thoughtful and contained space in which to explore uncertainty and make decisions that are less driven by crisis or immediate distress.
Psychosexual Therapy for Couples
Sexual difficulties rarely exist in isolation. They may be connected to emotional safety, communication, physical or mental health, earlier experiences, shame, changes in the relationship or differences in how each partner experiences desire and intimacy.
Psychosexual therapy can help couples talk about sexual concerns that may have become difficult to discuss. These may include differences in desire, difficulties with arousal or sexual functioning, avoidance of intimacy, sexual pain, shame, anxiety or changes in the couple’s sexual relationship.
The aim is not to impose a particular idea of what a sexual relationship should look like. It is to help each couple develop a more open, consensual and mutually satisfying understanding of intimacy.
Couples Affected by Compulsive Sexual Behaviour and Betrayal
I have particular experience working with couples affected by compulsive sexual behaviour, pornography use, infidelity, secrecy and sexual betrayal.
When these behaviours are discovered or disclosed, the impact is not limited to the individual engaging in them. Trust, emotional safety, attachment and sexual intimacy may all be affected. One partner may be struggling to understand or take responsibility for their behaviour, while the other may be experiencing shock, anger, grief, confusion or a profound loss of trust in the relationship and in their own judgement.
The work may include:
- Establishing emotional safety and stability
- Understanding the impact of secrecy and betrayal
- Supporting responsibility without using shame as the basis for change
- Developing appropriate boundaries and transparency
- Preparing for or working through disclosure
- Rebuilding communication and trust
- Considering whether and how emotional and sexual intimacy can be restored
- Helping each partner make informed decisions about the future
This work requires careful pacing. The needs of both partners must be recognised, although those needs may be different at particular stages of the process.
An Inclusive Approach
I work with couples of all sexual orientations, gender identities, relationship structures and cultural or religious backgrounds. Couples do not need to be married or living together to seek therapy.
Each relationship has its own history and context. I will not assume that one model of partnership, sexuality or intimacy is right for everyone.
The Initial Consultation
The initial consultation provides an opportunity to understand what has brought you to therapy, what each of you is experiencing and what you would like help with.
Where appropriate, sessions may also involve adult family members when family relationships form an important part of the presenting difficulty or recovery process.
Depending on the circumstances, the assessment may include a joint meeting and some individual time with each partner before we agree on the most appropriate way forward. This is particularly important where there has been betrayal, compulsive behaviour, trauma or uncertainty about the future of the relationship.
Following the assessment, I will discuss my recommendations with you. This may involve couples therapy, individual work alongside couples’ sessions, psychosexual therapy or a more structured programme of treatment.
Sessions are available in person in Central London and online via Zoom. A hybrid arrangement may also be considered where appropriate.
To arrange an initial consultation, please contact Relationship Therapy & Recovery on 07939 624 790 or email info@relationship-recovery.co.uk.